Marc Naimark's writing and interviews _____________________________________________________

Top Chef 12.6

Posted in Top Chef by marcnaimark on 2014/11/22

tcWe open with the celebration of the departure of dick Aaron. Katsuji is drinking PBR, but since they haven’t paid for Product Placement, his can is blurred. Keriann speaks for us all in expressing our joy at the loss of Aaron, whose antics are shown in a montage that makes you want to slap him silly. Oh, it’s just one clip, but I’m seeing a montage in my head and I hate that.


Melissa has a girlfriend! Fellow lesbian Tiffani arrives with their mission. She takes them out to a cranberry bog. Ocean Spray’s paid for the PP. They have to harvest cranberries, and the top four harvesters win an advantage TBA. The challenge is reminiscent of the Survivor mud challenge (I assume that they have that on the US version… it’s a big thing here, because girls in bikinis plus mud.)


Back to the kitchen where a well-rested and clean Padma tells them they need to cook with cranberries. Are you surprised? Katie, Adam, Gregory and Doug have access to the best ingredients. The others need to use crap ingredients like ketchup and ground beef.

Katie’s making cranberry borscht. She says that borscht is sour and cranberries are sour, so it works. OK. What surprises me is that the production didn’t tell her to say “tangy” rather than “sour”.

Katsuji’s making steak tartare with skirt steak, and even I can see that this is a stupid idea, especially with the giant hunks of meat he’s cutting.

Something’s burning! It’s from Adam, and it was the liquid he was going to do something with so now he’s in trouble. It’s a QF, dude!

Katie wins (gasp)! 


Off to Plymouth to cook an authentic Thanksgiving Dinner. They’re cooking in two groups.

They’re back at their lodgings and Stacey video chats with her hot Marine BF.

Doug, just described by fellow Portlandian Gregory in a confessional as basically an Ewok, is happy to be at the place where history was made. But I doubt that the museum called Plimoth Plantation corresonds to the place where this stuff happened.

Katie’s making something using lemon. Did they have lemons in Plymouth colony???

Before serving, let’s guess who’s out: Stacey. She’s been moping about finishing at the bottom, especially in her specialty, cranberries (who knew that was a specialty?). She’s had a cry with her BF (who’s overseas, so she can’t go home to him even if she’s out, but nevermind that), she’s worried about smoking her clams so close to the dirty, dirty ground, and Adam is concerned that she’s plating on the ground: “You don’t wanna get dirt in your food!”  I’ll wager a blog post that she’ll get dirt in her food. And when she serves her dish, the chefs keep asking about the mystery ingredient… which they figure out is dirt.

Doug is going big with rabbit. He knows they won’t have forks, so he’s cut it up for them as his great innovation. He’s shot down by a Wampanoag woman who tells him they just use their hands.

Katsuji has made pumpkin with lobster. But the caption says it’s butternut squash. Wampagnoag woman says they never eat lobster, they use it as bait for real fish, but she loved his dish. Guest chef says: “Who says a Mexican chef making kosher food can’t make a Native American love lobster?” Who says that lobster is kosher food? Idiot.

Uhoh! Gregory’s worried about his undercooked goose.  Is he going home??? (I say: no way… ).

Doug, Katsuji and Mae are top. And the winner is Katsuji!

Loser: Stacey. Dirty, dirty Stacey.




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